Planting The Seeds For A Future

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How can you reduce co-parenting disputes about the holidays

| May 17, 2021 | Divorce |

One of the things to work out when looking at child custody during divorce is how your children spend the holidays. Your decisions will affect you, your kids and your wider family.

Each family has its traditions. Some relate to culture or faith; others exist for personal reasons. Your child is part of two families — your side of the family and your spouse’s. Sit down and list which dates matter to whom.

Your mother-in-law might love cooking Christmas dinner for the family. It would devastate her if your kids could not attend. Your mom, by contrast, hates cooking and would prefer to escape Christmas altogether.

Couples often assume taking turns with the children for holidays such as Christmas is best. Yet if your kids would have a much better time with your spouse’s side of the family, why insist you alternate? If you let the kids pass each Christmas with your spouse, they could spend another holiday with you — one that is more important to your family.

Preparation and flexibility make dealing with holidays simpler after divorce

Give your kids and your extended family a warning about holiday plans. If your son will not make Grandma’s birthday this year, let them both know. It gives them both time to get used to it.

When you create a parenting plan, it does not mean you must rigidly stick to it until your child turns 18. Review it with your ex each year to see what works and what does not. This kind of honest conversation can benefit both you and your children. Major modifications might need a court’s permission, but minor ones do not.