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Hostility toward your estranged spouse can cost you in the divorce – literally

| Apr 30, 2021 | Divorce |

By the time many couples get around to divorcing, tensions between them are often high. Soon-to-be-ex-spouses can find it difficult to be in the same room together, let alone work out the details of their divorce agreements – even with their attorneys as intermediaries. 

Spouses who been able to put on a façade of happiness for years can become combative and cruel once divorce begins. The process of dividing parenting time, property and money can bring out the worst in people. 

It’s understandable that you might want to take to social media and post negative, embarrassing information about your spouse – complete with photos and video. You might even consider going to their office or after-work hangout and letting all their colleagues know how awful this person really is. Even if you can’t bring yourself to do those things, if you’re litigating the divorce, you might be tempted to unload in court — on the record.

Two examples of how hostile behavior can cost you

If you denigrate your spouse in front of their business associates or clients, you could hurt their potential to earn money – and maybe even cost them their job or career. That’s not going to help you if you’re counting on child and/or spousal support, if you hope to get a share of their business or if your financial well-being is going to remain tied to theirs in any way.

If you engage in a pattern – or even one instance – of hostile, damaging behavior, your spouse can bring it to the court’s attention. They may have evidence in the form of social media posts, videos and more. Judges don’t usually respond favorably when one spouse denigrates the other. This behavior could cost you time with your kids, alimony and/or assets you planned to get in the settlement.

The advantages of keeping your cool

Finally, if you’re amicable and calm with your spouse, they may respond in kind, and you may not have to fight as hard for the things you want from the divorce. If they don’t, you’ll just look like the better person. Either way, it can’t hurt.

That’s why it’s essential to keep your cool and bite your tongue during your divorce. Let your family law attorney do the heavy lifting to get the things you want from the divorce.